All Mixed Up

Guys confuse the hell out of me. Not any one of them in particular.... I'm actually going to generalize this statement to about 75% of the guys I've ever dated. That may be a conservative number.

And for the record, I really appreciate the 25% who weren't confusing. You were concise about what you wanted, and whether I agreed with it or not, at least I knew.

Back to the confusion...

Don't tell a girl you want a laid back relationship without the committment then get all pissed off when you realize she actually heard what you said and is willing to go with it. Push your clit aside and let your balls drop. You have nothing to get all jealous and sensitive over if she kisses another dude or two at a stupid ass New Years party. We're not even a "thing," remember?!?!

I've always vowed I'd never become the convenient girlfriend. The convenient girlfriend compromises what she wants out of life and a relationship to appease the guy (or girl) that she's dating. Without going into any details that would add annoying length to this blog, I've realized I'm the convenient girlfriend. It's so completely apparent, because according to the other person, I'm not even the girlfriend. But we act like it is that kind of relationship. At least it feels that way often enough to confuse the hell out of me. So WTF?

All I know is that I don't want to end up down the road 6 months or a year later and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. Though I'm not ready right now, I would like to remarry and have a chill little family. I would love to have that stability in my life. If I'm not getting any closer to that desire I have, what the hell am I doing?? Am I smart enough to handle this situation in a healthy way?

And as long as I'm venting... If we are on a first date and I don't make a lot of eye contact with you, touch your arm, shoulder, or leg, or give you "the look," DON'T THINK YOUR ASS CAN GET ALL CUDDLY AND AFFECTIONATE WITH ME. Get a grip on your hormones and take a minute to think about what's really going on. If you're not interested in talking and making an investment in building up some trust in the relationship, move the hell along. I don't need you, and I sure as hell don't want you wasting my time. And don't be a needy, pussy kind of guy. Lame.

Man, I sound bitchy. I've just dealt with some major dumb asses lately, and it's getting old. That's what I get for participating in online dating, I guess.

**Update:**
Relationships 1, 2, and 3 mentioned above are all essentially OVER. Funny how that works, isn't it?